The Binder, the Sausage and the Cervix

Things you should know:

When you go into supreme court and your incredibly expensive lawyer is carrying three humongous binders that contain the history of your life, don’t assume that the judge will read them — because he won’t, unless your $500 per hour lawyer bothers to enter them as evidence.

The sausage, even though it has been cured, it must be refrigerated, even though there are no instructions to do so and the cute guy in the farmer’s market sausage booth didn’t tell you this. Neglecting to refrigerate your sausage could effectively killl you, or the people you love, or even the ones you’d like to kill.

The cervix: as to a hysterectomy, if your cervix has a clean bill of health, it is best you keep it, as it is a floor muscle to the female body and removing it can cause infection, bleeding and the possibility of never having an orgasm again.

Stuff everyone should know — facts are a result of conversing with girlfriends…

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